A fight within

Recently I was diagnosed with extremely high blood sugar levels with my fasting at 422, PP at 585 and Random at 316. To top it I have high Tri-glyceride levels of around 516.

For years now I have been told by all and sundry that I should take care of my growing belly. In fact my ex-colleague Monica says,"shubham's belly walks independently of shubham".
I used to laugh it off.

Many of my friends, relatives, colleagues, teachers, students and who not have told me time and again to stop the intake of junk food, cold drinks or flavored soda etc., but I never really took things seriously.

My wife had been poking me for the last 4 years to reduce my waist size and I ignored it or by passed it.

Then 15 days back it all started.

From urinating 3-5 times a day it shot up to 30 times a day. My throat was perpetually dry. 10-15 litres of water I drank to no avail. My body started getting lazy and blood pressure shot up.  My eye sight got weakened.

And then I was diagnosed with extremely high sugar.

I am desperately trying to do what I have been suggested all these years. Eating Oats in breakfast, salad and sprouts in the day time, veggies and a couple of chapattis in lunch, cinnamon tea in evening, veggies or fish at night, walking after dinner, walking in the morning and what not .....

Life has its unique ways of letting you know how vulnerable human life is.



I hope to succeed for life has suddenly taken a new meaning for me. I used to live to eat. Now I eat to live. I want to see my son grow up. I want to do a number of things that I have in my mind. i want to visit various places in India and if possible, the world.  

Its now a fight I alone need to fight out with myself. Its a fight within. Its a fight to survive.

 

Being Dad

There was a time, not too far in the recent past, when I used to literally scream at my dad for being over protective. I used to make fun of my dad and used to crack jokes on him at his back.

• When I used to go out for some time I would know that dad would call the moment he would think I am getting late. 

• When I went out for excursions or trips dad would ask me what my name was; my father's name; my address etc. etc. just to make sure that I knew the details. This happened as recent as 2010 when I went to Hyderabad. 

• When I would travel with him, it would be an out right embarrassment for me. He would be traveling with me on a rickshaw and his hands would be literally guiding the traffic around the rickshaw out of the fear that something might hit the rickshaw and eventually me.

• When I would sneeze or cough I would get an emotional speech about how I am neglecting my health and how I am important for him. 

• When I would injure my self he would be the one to blast me and take me to the doctor.

• Going to the doctor was another embarrassment. He would surely come into the chamber and talk to the doctor as if I were an infant.

• Even till date he gave my age to the railway ticket booker as 19. For him I am yet to grow up.

For all the above he always got scoldings from me; shouts and sometimes I really screamed for being so protective and I would tell him it was really embarrassing. I would throw tantrums and let him know that all this was unnecessary and he would just smile and say one thing, "YOU DON'T KNOW THAT ANXIETY OF BEING A DAD. THE DAY YOU BECOME ONE, YOU WOULD REALIZE".

Today, I am the father of a 4 month old boy. And I am slowly realizing what my dad once told me after I blasted him for being too protective and interfering in my life when he suggested and literally pushed me to the doctor for repeatedly sneezing. He said, "The day you become a dad, will you understand the thoughts and anxieties that a dad can suffer from. Only a dad can understand the true love and affection hidden behind such behaviors. become a dad first."

All I can say to my dad today is, "YES DAD I NOW KNOW WHAT YOU USED TO FEEL". 

I am really feeling how it feels BEING DAD....

The darkness of Indian Education System

True ignorance is not the absence of knowledge, but the refusal to acquire it.

Day 1:: 2/7/13
The exam center is Kanya Mahavidyalaya Kharkhoda.
A government run college. We were greeted by dust laden desks and cob webbed chairs. As I settled down a lady came in and told us to keep our materials outside. We obliged. Then we were strictly told not to indulge in any wrong doings which can lead to our paper being cancelled.
Ten minutes into the exam came the first shocker. The same invigilator who had warned us a few minutes back came in and said the following.
I HATE NOISE. SO KINDLY CHEAT WITHOUT MAKING ANY NOISE.
I mean had my jaws been like a Looney toon they would have dropped on the floor. But that was just the beginning. Except me, the guy in front of me and a girl on my right hand side row everyone else brought out slips. Some hand written and some photocopied. They came out from all kinds of location. Inside shoes, socks, collars, folded cuffs, blouses of ladies, from inside the chains of the jeans guys were wearing, and where not.
At times an invigilator would come in and confiscate the papers she could catch. I was a bit impressed by her apparent honesty till the time she came in again and handed back the chits to those she had a previous understanding with. I have never seen such a thing.
Sitting at the last bench God gave me the opportunity to see first hand the mental and moral degradation of our so called educators and educational institutions. I wondered if this is happening at a government institution what might be happening in private colleges!!! Anybody's guess.

Day 2:: 3/7/13

Today came a different type of shocker. Today our seats were changed to room number 5. There the invigilator crossed all limits and helped the guys to cheat. By god it was ridiculous.
Except me there was no one in the class who wasn't carrying a bunch of resource papers for cheating as usual hidden inside awesome places . The flying squad wasn't useful too.
But the paper was simple and yet rampant cheating was on.

Day 3:: 04/07/13

Today I had two back to back exams. And I was prepared enough. As usual reached the center and was seated in room number 10. Todays papers were of 1.5 hours each so didn't have much time to look around. As usual the invigilators turned a blind eye to the on going stuff. Suddenly the invigilator said " flying squad is coming. Hide your chits."
There was a commotion in the class. Crumbled chits were flying towards the last bench and the guy there was busy throwing them out of the window. Desperate to get rid of chits some of them ran towards the windows to throw the chits.
It was an experience in which I felt ashamed of myself.

The second exam started at 4.15 and was going on as usual when again the flying squad came and this time a girl was caught. Her paper was cancelled and Unfair Means was invoked against her.
Later when I came out of exam hall I found the same girl surrounded by many other guys and some invigilators who were criticising the flying squad and the college people for not taking care of the students.

I was flabbergasted.

Ek to chori aur upar se seena zori.

Read this in the childhood days. Saw its practical example. 

Day 4:: 05/07/13

This day was no different from the previous days except that more skeletons stumbled out of the closet. The flying squad is also hand in gloves though they need to like catch at least one culprit but rest are being let off and they go back to the same cheating again. Till now I was very angry but now I am pityful about the state of our nation's education as the educators are themselves nothing more than cheats.