Before I begin, let me tell you the background of the story.
I have always been a foodie of sorts. Always loved to eat; whatever, wherever and without limits. And this always led to a series of stomach upsets. After years of torture finally my stomach decided, enough is enough and got back at me. It started to fire at wrong times; in the middle of a winter night when the world is curled up inside a quilt in deep sleep, I used to be shivering on the top of a western style seat of what-you-know-very-well !!! And that was not all. Just when I was about to leave my home for college, my stomach would start churning and blasting at high decibels. So this is the background to the events that transpired that day.
All I remember was it was day sometime in September. The weather was cool. I as usual got ready for college and waited for my stomach to start its daily routine, but it didn't. Overjoyed I started for the gruelling 3 hour journey. I went on foot for 1.5 kilometers to ALT Center to catch the 6:30 am DTC bus to Shivaji Stadium. As I entered the bus and took the seat the first sign of trouble emerged. A nimble footed air leaked from the insides and I felt a bit awkward. None the less I continued. By the time I got down at ITO the nimble footed air leaks had turned into high decibel explosions which, howsoever I tried to suppress, would leak out with disastrous effects which I would not like to share here.
I got into bus no 425 from ITO to Deshbandhu college. I reached around 8:20 am. As I entered the college premises I realised the need to reach where-you-know-very-well as urgently as possible. So I entered the loo of Physics Department. My urgency was overcome by the terror that was hanging in front of me. Actually not terror, but nearly 11-12 eight legged terrors were hanging from their webs. Being extremely courageous (!!!!) I came out and started to look for alternatives. Bio department was no better; Chemistry department was locked; English department, New Block, Old Block Admin Block and where not (except probably the principal office) I had peeped into every one of the loos and the eight legged freaks were all there to welcome me. My fear of spiders was greater than the fear of being seen in a YELLOW trouser.
I realised that a couple of kilometers from there, Nehru Place, had 3 public toilets which were operated by Sulabh International and were neat and clean. So I immediately made my mind to go there. I had to walk these 2 kilometers as I could not rick getting a bad jerk to my already delicate stomach and nearby areas due to bus or auto movements. To my utter horror all the three toilets were closed. As I was so sure that I will find atleast one of them open, I had momentarily lowered my guard only to realise immediately that I was in a great trouble.
"Marta kya nahi karta" and "Where there is a will, there is a way" combined together and told me to go to ITO, 14 kilometers from there.
Auto and its jerks were out of question. I boarded a bus, 425. The bus was empty, and I was standing. The conductors politely asked me to sit down when I told him, "Bhaiya, baith gaya to fir uthna mushkil ho jayega. Abhi filhaal situation thoda sangeen hai".
The bus stopped near the Old fort crossing and I could see that the bus may reach late and I might need a faster means of transport.
I got down and hired an auto for Rs. 40. The situation was so desperate that I had to take the jerk risk. The auto reached the ITO crossing where there used to be a Public Toilet. I handed over a Rs. 100 note to the auto driver who told me he had no change but if I waited he could get it for me. I just asked him to give me some coins that he had and he gave me Rs. 11 worth of coins. I rushed away telling him to keep the rest. I could look at the disbelief in his eyes, but he might not have known that I was in a greater danger of creating more disbelief around me.
I hurtled into the toilet. Threw my bag into the lap of the attnedent; pushed a waiting man outside the toilet door, and entered it. I bolted the door from inside even as the man standing before me started to hurl curses and abuses at me.
it was Indian styled one and I just managed to sit down properly when the flood gates finally gave away. Five minutes of landslide and I felt relieved finally.
Ten minutes later I was sitting in the ALT - Shivaji bus returning home.
Till date that was the most frustrating and hilarious moment of my life.
I have always been a foodie of sorts. Always loved to eat; whatever, wherever and without limits. And this always led to a series of stomach upsets. After years of torture finally my stomach decided, enough is enough and got back at me. It started to fire at wrong times; in the middle of a winter night when the world is curled up inside a quilt in deep sleep, I used to be shivering on the top of a western style seat of what-you-know-very-well !!! And that was not all. Just when I was about to leave my home for college, my stomach would start churning and blasting at high decibels. So this is the background to the events that transpired that day.
All I remember was it was day sometime in September. The weather was cool. I as usual got ready for college and waited for my stomach to start its daily routine, but it didn't. Overjoyed I started for the gruelling 3 hour journey. I went on foot for 1.5 kilometers to ALT Center to catch the 6:30 am DTC bus to Shivaji Stadium. As I entered the bus and took the seat the first sign of trouble emerged. A nimble footed air leaked from the insides and I felt a bit awkward. None the less I continued. By the time I got down at ITO the nimble footed air leaks had turned into high decibel explosions which, howsoever I tried to suppress, would leak out with disastrous effects which I would not like to share here.
I got into bus no 425 from ITO to Deshbandhu college. I reached around 8:20 am. As I entered the college premises I realised the need to reach where-you-know-very-well as urgently as possible. So I entered the loo of Physics Department. My urgency was overcome by the terror that was hanging in front of me. Actually not terror, but nearly 11-12 eight legged terrors were hanging from their webs. Being extremely courageous (!!!!) I came out and started to look for alternatives. Bio department was no better; Chemistry department was locked; English department, New Block, Old Block Admin Block and where not (except probably the principal office) I had peeped into every one of the loos and the eight legged freaks were all there to welcome me. My fear of spiders was greater than the fear of being seen in a YELLOW trouser.
I realised that a couple of kilometers from there, Nehru Place, had 3 public toilets which were operated by Sulabh International and were neat and clean. So I immediately made my mind to go there. I had to walk these 2 kilometers as I could not rick getting a bad jerk to my already delicate stomach and nearby areas due to bus or auto movements. To my utter horror all the three toilets were closed. As I was so sure that I will find atleast one of them open, I had momentarily lowered my guard only to realise immediately that I was in a great trouble.
"Marta kya nahi karta" and "Where there is a will, there is a way" combined together and told me to go to ITO, 14 kilometers from there.
Auto and its jerks were out of question. I boarded a bus, 425. The bus was empty, and I was standing. The conductors politely asked me to sit down when I told him, "Bhaiya, baith gaya to fir uthna mushkil ho jayega. Abhi filhaal situation thoda sangeen hai".
The bus stopped near the Old fort crossing and I could see that the bus may reach late and I might need a faster means of transport.
I got down and hired an auto for Rs. 40. The situation was so desperate that I had to take the jerk risk. The auto reached the ITO crossing where there used to be a Public Toilet. I handed over a Rs. 100 note to the auto driver who told me he had no change but if I waited he could get it for me. I just asked him to give me some coins that he had and he gave me Rs. 11 worth of coins. I rushed away telling him to keep the rest. I could look at the disbelief in his eyes, but he might not have known that I was in a greater danger of creating more disbelief around me.
I hurtled into the toilet. Threw my bag into the lap of the attnedent; pushed a waiting man outside the toilet door, and entered it. I bolted the door from inside even as the man standing before me started to hurl curses and abuses at me.
it was Indian styled one and I just managed to sit down properly when the flood gates finally gave away. Five minutes of landslide and I felt relieved finally.
Ten minutes later I was sitting in the ALT - Shivaji bus returning home.
Till date that was the most frustrating and hilarious moment of my life.
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